All the Norm that’s safe to swallow

The ever shameless Norman “real con men are always shameless” Coleman says, bring it on. 

U.S. Sen. Norm Coleman said Wednesday he is eager to have an outside investigation move forward immediately into allegations that a longtime friend and benefactor tried to steer $100,000 his way.

“The fact that a United States senator is being used as a tool of extortion by private parties should be of concern to all Minnesotans,” Coleman said.

His statement came shortly after a left-leaning group, Alliance for Better Minnesota, announced it had sent letters to the FBI and the Senate Select Committee on Ethics requesting probes.

Neither body usually comments on investigations in the early stages, and an FBI spokesman said a person publicly calling for an inquiry to clear his name wouldn’t mean anything one way or the other, as far as the bureau is concerned. 

The timing is interesting, to say the least:

A lawsuit is filed in early October

Since he was named in the lawsuit, Coleman had to be aware of it

Nothing is said until word of the lawsuit leaks out shortly before the election

Coleman, who has been silent, suddenly accuses Al Franken of dirty tricks and being behind a lawsuit that, in retrospect Franken obviously knew nothing about

Based on a flurry of ads accusing Franken of attacking Coleman’s family, Norman squeaks out a “victory” by a  margin so thin state law says it must be recounted

Coleman demands Franken concede

As the vote is finalized the margin grows smaller, just as it’s done in previous elections during the vote finalizing process

Alliance for a Better Minnesota sends letters to the FBI and U.S. Senate demanding an investigation

Coleman, who at this point has absolutely nothing left to lose, says bring it on

The FBI replies that they’ll do what they do at their own pace thank you very much

A brazen taunt from a shameless hack who’s going down. Whether he goes down as a U.S. Senator or as a former U.S. Senator is out of his control. The only choice left to Norman is when to call it quit and hide behind his family and “privacy.”

My take is that all of the lawsuit allegations must be true. Why must they be? Because it all hinges on the legitimacy of Laurie Coleman’s job with Hays Companies. Here’s what the Colemans have to say about Laurie’s job: nothing.

Questions about Laurie Coleman, who previously was known publically only as an aspiring actress, and her work for Hays surfaced more than a month before the election. Wednesday, after Coleman said he welcomed outside scrutiny, a campaign spokesman said neither the senator nor his wife would answer questions about what she does for Hays. 

WTF? Is Laurie Coleman an undercover CIA agent spying on Iran? What kind of fucking job is so special you can’t tell anyone what it is? Does she specialize in insuring child rapists? Is she in charge of denying insurance payments to widows and orphans? Or does she do absolutely nothing at all other than to cash the checks as they arrive in the mail?

This reeks of corruption. Nothing Norman “I pick and choose who gets into my press conferences” Coleman has done publicly says otherwise.

By some miracle it looks like Franken may pull this out, assuming we don’t end up with a tie. If so, by the time he’s sworn in most Minnesotans may well prove to be grateful for having dodged a bullet. Norman “Karl Rove’s butt boy” Coleman has a very big cloud hanging over his head right now, and it’s doubtful he could be very effective as a disgraced minority party Senator struggling to keep his seat and to stay out of court.

The only coverage in the Strib today is Tim O’Brien’s Blog House. Like half the stuff I’ve been linking to Tim rehashes what’s going on and has some quotes. The comments also seem to be getting a bit more even sided. Lots of liberals are getting testy and doing some name calling of their own. In response to the wingnuts, of course, but isn’t that how our national political dialogue first slipped into the crapper? And yes, if you go back far enough it was the Democrats who initiated these pointless mudfests, but as I’m sure you know those Democrats later left the party to become Republicans after Nixon put out the welcome mat.

In American history it has always been the same Southern crowd that insists on lowering the bar and flinging shit over it. And the more you know about those folks, the more you realize that Norman Coleman’s fighting for a seat as an outsider in a party of bigots, as a man whose corruption is more about putting food on his family than it is swank power meals with pricey drinks paid for by hooker-dispensing lobbyists. Yes, Norm is corrupt. Yes, Norm’s private life is not LDS-approved. No, Norm isn’t in a league with Ted Stevens or Trent Lott.

That, at least, would be somewhat glamorous. Like when mobsters hung out in St. Paul during the ’30s. Instead we get petty fraud and graft, the stuff of civil litigation and dry as dust depositions. Petty fraud for a petty politician acting out in an increasingly petty manner.

The recount team is in place and it’s comprised of SoS Ritchie (reform-oriented Democrat), two Pawlenty-appointed state Supreme Court judges (crony Republicans), and two Ramsey County judges (one who declines to state party affiliation and the other appointed by Jesse Ventura). I think just about anyone who knows Minnesota politics would call this a balanced team of partisans who’ll watch out for the interests of all three political parties in this recount.

In other words, it will be a fair recount regardless of whatever other empty accusations Coleman throws into the mix. Except for one thing: Franken still hasn’t shut the fuck up. Al? Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up. No words coming out your mouth or from your campaign can help, and each word makes you sound more like Norm.

Coleman’s campaign expressed concern over whether Ritchie, a Democrat, could “act as an unbiased official in this recount.” But the campaign’s chief lawyer expressed “confidence in the same professional staff (Ritchie) has confidence in.”

Then, the Franken campaign criticized the Coleman camp’s criticism, calling it “shameful.” Franken also countered by describing the two Supreme Court justices as “partisan Republican(s).” 

It’s obvious what Coleman’s up to. His brand is tarnished no matter how this comes out, so he has no reason not to smear the process (in case he loses the election and wants to challenge the results). Franken? I can’t see what Franken has to gain by saying anything. Shut up, shut the fuck up Al. Now is the time for lawyers to do the talking. Let Coleman hang himself with his tongue and if that doesn’t work we can look forward to reading “Recounts and the Weasely Bastards Who Fight Them.”

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Jim Ragsdale contrasts Minnesota’s tight election with Florida in 2000, and you’ll never guess who plays George Bush in Ragsdale’s telling of the story.

The Coleman campaign, while promising to “work together to get things done,” has dished most of the dirt, suggesting that normal bounces in the unofficial results are evidence of vote-tampering or worse. Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty jumped in this week, saying that the question is whether “ballots from outside the process are going to be allowed in.”

I understand the freak-out factor for the Republican team when the net result of the “unofficial” changes has benefitted Franken, the Democrat. That will be sorted out in the recount. But having our top Republican officials suggest that state and local election officials are crooked is irresponsible and reminiscent of the battle in Miami-Dade, Palm Beach and Tallahassee in November and December 2000….

While the Franken side has been quiet, the Coleman team has not gotten out of campaign mode. When the unofficial results change, the Coleman team issues a statement saying that “improbable and statistically dubious chunks of votes appear and disappear.” Coleman went to court over Minneapolis absentee ballots that his lawyer later said proved not to be a problem. He fired off demands to vote-counters as if he were dealing with a hostile nation.

The tie will not be broken to everyone’s satisfaction. Election officials have to check out all allegations, operate out in the open and show their work; but we as citizens do not have to assume the worst until proven otherwise. And we can judge Coleman and Franken by how they allow their supporters to behave in this difficult challenge to our precious democratic system. 

Working the refs (that’s us, the people). Nevermind that attacking the recount process undermines our institutions and sense of justice, just work the refs. Republicans as Bobby Knight with their hand on a chair ready to throw it across the court. Here’s an example (anonymous, but most MN blog readers will recognize the bloated prose):

Sadly, this sometimes works. I’m not that impressed when Republicans roll NPR (easier done than said), but I take heart that some of the local media (and commenters) are taking exception to Norm’s defamatory comments and phony stories.

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Did you hear that Mark Begich is now up by three votes in Alaska with the absentee ballots trending heavily in his favor?

Oops — that was last night. The Anchorage Daily News has more:

Begich, who was losing after election night, now leads Stevens by 814 votes — 132,196 to 131,382 — with the state still to count roughly 35,000 more ballots over the next week.

The state Division of Elections tallied some 60,000 absentee, early and questioned ballots on Wednesday. The ballots broke heavily in the Democrat’s favor, erasing the 3,000-vote lead Stevens held after election night Nov. 4.

Stevens, a 40-year incumbent, is trying to become the first person ever elected to the U.S. Senate after a being found guilty of felony crimes.

This recount won’t wrap up until the middle of next week, but I expect Begich to win by a healthy margin. Serious observers have been saying for weeks now that either the absentee ballots would break heavily for Begich, or there was some serious vote fraud up there. (Pre-election polls showed Begich well ahead of the beleaguered Stevens.)

In other Alaska news, should the State of Alaska remove Piper Palin from her dysfunctional home? And, after the RNC reclaims their property, will they sell Piper Palin’s underwear on eBay? Curious pervs want to know. 

A word to the wise. If you don’t wash any of the underwear you can get a much better price for it, even if there is streaking (different fetish market, but just as affluent). And not just Piper’s, Bristol’s and Sarah’s — Todd’s BVDs would command a bidding war as well.

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I was stunned to read this, and even more stunned to see that it was a day old and still hasn’t been picked up by any local media. Did you know that the State of Minnesota still performs involuntary ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY on its citizens?

No shit, and no ameliorating details either. Kay Olson has a major scoop and for the life of me I can’t figure out why it isn’t on the front pages of both daily newspapers.

Note: if you click on the link you will read a story that will most likely upset you in a real and disturbing way. Not like the pain in the ass you feel when you read about Norman Coleman. No, more like the rupturing of tiny cells in your heart as you realize how much is being done in our name without our having a clue.

Electroshock therapy isn’t therapy, it isn’t medicine, it’s not even good torture. It’s just barbaric, and doctors and technicians who perform it should be tried as criminals.

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The rest of the news:

Naomi Klein on the Bailout

Michael Lewis on how he saw it all coming 20 years ago (he really did)

Taking on the Swiss

No, Georgia attacked Russia

3000% hike in music royalty fees in Australia

Jeff Jarvis responds (reminding me why I’ve always thought of him as an arrogant weenie)

CBS Memogate recap (CBS does not look good)

Malcolm Gladwell on who gets ahead and why (insightful)

Cancel the retraction, GA bigot stands by Hitler/Marxist remarks

Oil companies blow up man’s house, refuse to pay

I-35 Bridge Collapse Report is out (hack, hack) (victims file lawsuit — discovery should be fun)

Idaho school children chant “Assassinate Obama”

Not brain dead — brain gone

Another AIG junket!

Still more insane grandstanding from Sheriff Joe Arpaio

McColo taken down and worldwide spam drops by 2/3ds!

Oh, and we may have a cure for AIDS

And, regrettably, Mitch Mitchell, R.I.P.

I’ve gone decades without listening to much ’60s music, mostly because I had dreadful taste in the ’60s. Of all the artists I listened to in high school (Uriah Heep, Ted Nugent, Iron Butterfly), few were any good. But ironically, the stuff I had that was good was really good. Bitches Brew (on 8-track), early country rock, José Feliciano — and The Jimi Hendrix Experience. I even knew Mitch Mitchell’s name. 

A great band with a great guitarist and a great drummer playing great music.

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